Student Loan Debt: Warren’s Brilliant Plan; Also How do you Pay for Sanders’ Plan?

WASHINGTON, DC – For millions of Americans, student loan debt is an impediment to success. Decades ago, a Bachelor’s degree was a ticket to future success; a Bachelor’s degree is now a requirement for most entry-level jobs. Democratic candidates have unveiled plans to tackle student loan debt including a brilliant plan by Senator Elizabeth Warren to cancel up to $1.5 trillion in student loan debt, and Senator Bernie Sanders’ completely unrealistic pipe dream of canceling up to $1.6 trillion in student loan debt.

“I pay over $300 a month on student loans, and that’s really difficult to do when you’re just starting your own business,” says Arlington-area entrepreneur Alan Cates. “That’s why I support Elizabeth Warren and her plan to ease student debt.” When asked about Sanders’ plan, Cates added “Yeah, it’s a nice idea, but how are we going to pay for that?”

Both plans are projected to ease debt for up to 45 million Americans and will be paid for by increased taxes on Wall Street speculation.

“Bernie Sanders is trying to play to his base of young, disenfranchised youth by offering a tempting morsel of financial security, without taking into account that stuff actually costs money. $1.6 trillion – with a T. That money has to come from somewhere,” explained numbers expert Nate Silver. “Warren, on the other hand, really has her finger on the pulse of how Americans are struggling under the burden of debt, and has released a bold and visionary plan to address that burden.”

“Bernie thinks we just want free stuff, and the question that comes to mind is how are we going to pay for that?” asked Philadelphia resident Beth Bartulo, adding “it was my choice to go to college, and debt is something that I pledged to pay off, but it’s not easy, which is why I fully support Warren’s plan to erase my student debt.”

The announcements from both campaigns has set off a firestorm of discussion from political pundits who have both praised Warren for her bold leadership and forward-thinking proposal, and criticized Sanders about how he will pay for such a ridiculous and unrealistic plan.

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Categories: Politics, Satire

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