STERLING HEIGHTS, MI – In an effort to revive his flailing campaign, presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke has announced a Beto 2.0 relaunch to include a CNN town hall and a campaign visit to the General Dynamics Land Systems plant to… Read More ›
Month: May 2019
Joe Biden Under Fire for Plagiarizing Sanders Campaign
WASHINGTON, DC – Former Vice President and presidential hopeful Joe Biden is in hot water following allegations that he has plagiarized Bernie Sanders’ campaign. At a recent rally in Alabama, Biden appeared before a crowd of dozens opening with a… Read More ›
Huge Success for Pro-Life Movement as Alabama Rules Anyone Involved in Abortion be Executed
MONTGOMERY, AL – New anti-abortion restrictions signed into law by Governor Kay Ivey are being hailed by pro-life activists as a major victory. The new law falls short of banning abortion, but requires that anyone involved in an abortion be… Read More ›
Democratic Listmaker Unsure if de Blasio Should Go Under B or D
WASHINGTON, DC – Stan Doolittle was hired by the DNC last fall. It is his job every morning to scan the news looking for new candidates to add to official DNC lists and to update the 2020 Democratic Primary Wikipedia… Read More ›
De Blasio Looks at 2020 Candidate Field, Thinks ‘Yeah, I Should Run’
NEW YORK – Looking over a list of 23 democrats currently running for president, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio thought to himself, “Yeah, I should definitely run for president”. The mayor, who has a 36% approval rating in New… Read More ›
Vatican Shuts Down Priest/Altar Boy Matching App
In a bold move, the Catholic Church finally shut down a priest/altar boy matching app. The app, ALTr, which matched prospective altar boys with priests in need, was evidently being used for something far more sinister. “We cannot have priests… Read More ›
DeVos Worried that Students Not Shooting at Grade Level
WASHINGTON, DC – Citing concerns over accuracy, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is worried that American students are not shooting at grade level. “I’m becoming increasingly concerned about our education system,” said the Secretary, adding “what we’re seeing is that many… Read More ›
