STERLING HEIGHTS, MI – In an effort to revive his flailing campaign, presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke has announced a Beto 2.0 relaunch to include a CNN town hall and a campaign visit […]
Beto O’Rourke Rides on Tank, Revives Campaign
Joe Biden Under Fire for Plagiarizing Sanders Campaign
WASHINGTON, DC – Former Vice President and presidential hopeful Joe Biden is in hot water following allegations that he has plagiarized Bernie Sanders’ campaign. At a recent rally in Alabama, Biden appeared […]
Huge Success for Pro-Life Movement as Alabama Rules Anyone Involved in Abortion be Executed
MONTGOMERY, AL – New anti-abortion restrictions signed into law by Governor Kay Ivey are being hailed by pro-life activists as a major victory. The new law falls short of banning abortion, but […]
Democratic Listmaker Unsure if de Blasio Should Go Under B or D
WASHINGTON, DC – Stan Doolittle was hired by the DNC last fall. It is his job every morning to scan the news looking for new candidates to add to official DNC lists […]
De Blasio Looks at 2020 Candidate Field, Thinks ‘Yeah, I Should Run’
NEW YORK – Looking over a list of 23 democrats currently running for president, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio thought to himself, “Yeah, I should definitely run for president”. The mayor, […]
Vatican Shuts Down Priest/Altar Boy Matching App
In a bold move, the Catholic Church finally shut down a priest/altar boy matching app. The app, ALTr, which matched prospective altar boys with priests in need, was evidently being used for […]
DeVos Worried that Students Not Shooting at Grade Level
WASHINGTON, DC – Citing concerns over accuracy, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is worried that American students are not shooting at grade level. “I’m becoming increasingly concerned about our education system,” said the […]
Biden Unveils Campaign Slogan: Make America Moral Again, Return to the Essence of Who We Are, the Dignity of a Country, the Dignity of People Treating our People with Dignity
WASHINGTON, DC – Former Vice President and democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden unveiled his campaign slogan during an interview on ABC’s Nightline. The new slogan, Make America Moral Again, Return to the […]
Majority of Dems Want Hillary Clinton to Run Again, Says Hillary Clinton
CHAPPAQUA, NY – Citing a lukewarm response to all twenty-two democratic presidential candidates, a majority of democrats are calling for Hillary Clinton to enter the race, according to Hillary Clinton. “Hillary Clinton […]
Boeing Execs Thrilled to Learn Russian Crash Plane Not 737
CHICAGO – Sitting anxiously in an executive break room as CNN reported news that an airliner carrying 78 souls crash-landed in a fireball at Moscow’s Sheremetyevo International Airport, Boeing Executives were relieved […]
