Success! Big Win for Medicare-for-All as Pelosi Lowers Eligibility Age to 64-and-a-Half

AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

WASHINGTON, DC – Progressives and Medicare-for-All supporters are cheering House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s recent endorsement of Medicare-for-All.

“I came into the hearing with an open mind, and after hearing the testimony of the very courageous Ady Barkan, I now recognize the immense responsibility that congress has to the American people, a responsibility to ensure that everyone over the age of 64-and-a-half is covered by quality health insurance,” Pelosi told reporters outside the House chamber.

“You approach the issue with an understanding that no one is going to get one hundred percent of what they want,” said Pramila Jayapal, who authored the Medicare-for-All bill, adding “we wanted to replace the entire healthcare system in the United States with a single payer Medicare-for-All system that ensured medical coverage to every man, woman, and child, and Speaker Pelosi heard us loud and clear and is ready to work with us”.

After 4 hours of testimony before Congress on Tuesday, Pelosi stood up and silenced the chamber, telling the body “this could go on for weeks, so let’s cut to the chase. In reality, I want almost exactly what you are asking for, and I’m ready to green-light this bill and send it up for a vote. All I ask is that we meet in the middle make one small tweak to the eligibility age, then we can stop talking about it forever”.

The new Medicare-for-All compromise bill will lower the eligibility age from 65 to 64-and-a-half and is expected to cover an additional 1.5 million Americans. Although this number falls short of the approximately 270 million individuals who would benefit from a full implementation of Medicare-for-All, supporters of the bill are pleased that their voices have been heard.

“I came to these hearings expecting the bill to fail completely,” said Trevor Dernberg, a healthcare activist from Philadelphia, adding “I was prepared for a best-case scenario compromise of expanding coverage to those over 64-and-three-quarters, and frankly, I’m blown away. I really didn’t think Pelosi would go this far, and it’s a big win for every American to know they’ll be able to enter the second half of their 64th year knowing that a healthcare emergency is not going to lead to bankruptcy”.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was vocal in his opposition of the bill, telling BeetPress “This bill is a complete government takeover by the democrats of what was once the best healthcare system in the world. We’re now moving beyond socialism into uncharted territory, and this will likely collapse the foundations that this great nation was built upon”.

As of press time, Senator Bernard Sanders was seen pacing the halls of Congress with smoke emanating from his ears.

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Categories: Politics, Satire

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