Disney Merges With 21st Century Fox

HOLLYWOOD, CA – It’s official: Disney is taking over the world! With the merger of Disney Studios and 21st Century Fox, there is sure to come more than a few changes to movies, franchises, and characters. BeetPress spoke to Bob Iger, Disney Chairman and Chief Executive Officer, for his insight.

(BeetPress) While the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) and the Star Wars films are properties of Disney, the company now owns X-Men and Fantastic Four which many MCU fans are excited about. What are your thoughts on this?

(Bob Iger) I didn’t read comic books growing up, so I have no comment for now.

(BP) We’re also hearing rumors that there’s an Alien TV Show in the works, can you give us a status update on that?

(BI) Where the hell did you hear those rumors?

(BP) On the internet.

(BI) OH! Yeah that um, that might be happening. I don’t know, I’ve never been a huge fan of science fiction.

(BP) It seems that all the big fish are eating each other with media consolidation. Would you say this is a good or a bad thing for the industry?

(BI) I can’t say for sure, because I’m not a nautical person. I’ve always been more interested in golfing than I have fishing.

(BP) One of my favorite shows, The Simpsons, has been on for nearly thirty years. Given the new circumstances, do you think it will last much longer, maybe even another thirty years?

(BI) Well, they’re cartoon characters, so they can’t die.

(BP) So it came as a sort of bleak surprise for fans and insiders to learn that Fox 2000 is being shut down by Disney in the midst of the merger. Fox 2000 brought us many great films such as The Fault in our Stars and The Devil Wears Prada. What are your thoughts?

(BI) While it’s sad to see Fox 2000 go, I will admit I was never a fan of those types of films. Like I said, I’m not a science fiction fan.

Bob Iger

(BP) Disney Chairman and Chief Executive Officer, that’s a very long job title. Have you ever thought of shortening it to CEO?

(BI) That’s a very good question, I have put a lot of thought and work into this. Firstly, I was just Disney Chairman, and because I represent Disney, I have to have the name in my job title, although I don’t like the words chair and man together. I like the word man, so I tried Disney Man for a while, but that started making people around the office look at me strangely, so I went back to Disney Chairman. And then the Chief Executive position fell into my lap like a sack of mangoes, so now I have to go as Disney Chairman and Chief Executive. Screw that! Then it came to me one day while yelling at my intern in front of my wife to prove I wasn’t cheating, CHIEF. OFFICER. CHIEF OFFICER! I wanted to be a police officer when I was a kid, though I never had a predilection towards the ghetto. So I talked it over with Rupert Murdoch. At first he wanted to release the hounds , but I got Eisner to vouch for me. From then on I was known as Disney Chairman and Chief Executive Officer. I’m still tinkering with the idea of removing the and.

(BP) Well I think that’s it, I got everything I need. Are you good?

(BI) I’m rich, what do you think?

(BP) Thanks, have a good day.

Categories: Business, Satire

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