Bernie Sanders Refines Revolution: Make McRib Available Year-round

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – At a campaign Rally in San Francisco on Sunday, presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders refined the details of his revolution to demand that fast food chain McDonalds make the McRib available year round, calling access to the McRib a fundamental human right.

“It is preposterous that in a country where three families own more wealth than the bottom 50 percent combined, that working class Americans can’t get a McRib sandwich in March,” Sanders told 15,000 supporters in attendance to thunderous applause. “In one of the wealthiest major nations on Earth, where over 30 million Americans don’t have access to basic healthcare, it’s a crime that people like Martha Washburn, a librarian from Redding, California, can’t walk into a McDonalds franchise and order a McRib meal with a Diet Coke year round!”

Briahna Joy Grey, a spokeswoman for the Sanders campaign, told BeetPress “Senator Sanders has always been committed to issues of income inequality, Medicare for all, and free college, but those are really difficult challenges. After our success with $15 minimum wage for Amazon and Disney employees, the Senator has decided to focus his vision on issues that are achievable and will benefit everyday Americans”.

The McRib

The McRib sandwich, consisting of a pork patty served on a homestyle roll with barbecue sauce, slivered onions and sliced pickles, is typically only available for a few weeks in October and November, depending on location.

“I’m a veteran, having served two tours in Iraq, and I was shocked to discover that I can’t just walk into a McDonalds and order a McRib,” Daniel Vito, a Sanders supporter, told BeetPress outside of the Rally. “I didn’t watch three of my buddies die in Fallujah protecting the United States to have to wait until November to get a damn McRib”.

CNN political commentator Chris Cillizza told reporters “While it’s good that Bernie has evolved on this important issue, it’s worth noting that other candidates have always supported year-round McRib availability including Kamala Harris, who outlined it as a key platform policy during her historic campaign launch in January”.

As of press time, BeetPress has confirmed that hoards of vocal Sanders supporters have descended on McDonalds throughout the country to demand access to the McRib. Representatives from McDonalds have not responded to repeated requests for comment.

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Categories: Politics, Satire

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