Iowan Wants to Enjoy Beer Without People Jumping on Bar

sad single man drinking beer at bar or pub, watching the game

BURLINGTON, IA – Local pipe fitter Jeff Bunch has expressed frustration after a man entered the Lucky Horse Tavern and jumped on the bar where Bunch was seated.

“Look, I’m out there busting my ass from 6am – 4pm to put food on the table for my family, and when I’m done, I just want to relax with a nice pint of beer. I don’t need some random guy jumping up on the bar knocking shit around,” Bunch told BeetPress outside of the tavern.

The incident occurred Thursday when the man entered the tavern, jumped up on the bar, and started gesticulating wildly while shouting at stunned bar patrons.

“He starts in with this proclamation about this country having genius human beings, and bringing out the best in all of us, then going on this political rant. I mean, I support Trump too, but what’s this guy trying to accomplish?” added Bunch, who continued “you’ll see the random wacko or drunk stumble in from time to time, but they usually just sit down in the back without doing too much harm. This guy is nuts”.

Thursday’s incident is reminiscent of a similar occurrence at the same location in 2015, when an elderly woman entered the bar and harassed patrons. Bartender Trevor Brindall noted “This lady comes in asking people if they were with her and to ignore what a man named Bernie had to say. Then she went on a tirade about breaking the ceiling. We eventually called the cops. Where do these people come from?”

BeetPress has confirmed that the man seen at the bar was spotted earlier outside of a gas station asking passers by for gas money. According to convenience store employee Barbara Sheffield, the man purchased a coffee and banana while the gas was pumping. “He pulled out his wallet and I could see two or three twenties, so I know he had enough to pay for the gas,” said Sheffield. “I guess he’s just one of those types that wants everything for free”.

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Categories: culture, Satire

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