The Simpsons to Remove Every Episode Prior to 2019

LOS ANGELES, CA – With the recent removal of the Michael Jackson episode from the Simpsons line up, discussion on Twitter have focused on what other jokes might not be appropriate for 2019.

“We live in the present,” a showrunner for the Simpsons announced, adding “we can’t be tied to jokes in the past.  Someone might be offended at some future date. We came to the conclusion that everything is inappropriate. In fact, we’re going to delete shows immediately after they air so that we’ll never have this problem again.”

But that wasn’t good enough for Simpsons fans on Twitter.

“What if I’m watching an episode and start to realize a joke in the beginning could be problematic?  I could still wind it back with my Tivo,” tweeted Ms.Plow420.  “The technology exists to delete it as it’s being aired, why not use it?”

“We are trying to become more inclusive,” assured the showrunner. “Hank Azaria no longer voices Apu. We’ll have an Indian actor voice the Indian roles, just like we’ll only have voice actors that 100% match their characters, so as to be more culturally sensitive.”

The Simpsons, having fired their entire voice acting cast, are now auditioning people to more accurately reflect the characters.

“Mr. Burns is going to be tough,” admitted one casting agent.  “There aren’t a lot of 107 year old billionaire voice actors. And how do you find a salty old sea dog for the Sea Captain these days?  It’s really made casting a challenge.”

But even with this, some Simpsons fans continued to react poorly.

“Where are the people representing yellow Americans?” demanded Chalmskin2020.  “Are you telling me that in this day and age yellow people can’t get a break?”

“I’m not sure who you’re referring to,” countered the showrunner in a reply tweet. “Do you mean Asian people when you say—“

The reply tweet was never finished.  Twitter’s automatic censors deleted the tweet, deleted the account and alerted Fox to have the showrunner terminated.

“The Simpsons is currently on hiatus,” announced Fox, shortly thereafter. “Until we can meet the demands of our fanbase and bring the show in line with current cultural norms, the Simpsons no longer exists.  Fox is currently working on an online program to remove old clips of the show from the Internet.  It is our hope to remove old Simpsons jokes from the brains of our fans entirely by 2027.”

© 2019 Tony DiGerolamo

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Categories: Entertainment, Satire

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