Most people, from adolescents to death, have moments in their lives where they’ve shared a moment of unwavering excitement when their lips meet that special someone’s. They may have been a fling, a future husband or wife, or that person you never wanted to see again when the sun came up. Whoever it may be, it’s wonderful, be that as it may, there seems to be some nuances being missed, or some mistakes being made along the way. Here is a list to help.

A Pumpkin Patch

The brisk wind hits your face as it pulls the leaves off their branches and flows by you and that special someone.

In a Comic Book Shop

It may not be conventional, but you’ll prove that you’re the one person in the room who has actually kissed a girl.

In a Doorway in the Rain

Reminiscent of a moody 80’s film. Tell that junkie to move so you can enjoy a romantic first kiss.

At a Social Protest

Rubber bullets and tear gas – does it get any more romantic?

In Your Parent’s Bed

It may seem a bit naughty, but keep in mind, your parents have done far more in your bed.

During a Wedding

Making out with a bridesmaid during the vows really takes the edge off the bride and groom.

In the Lobby of the Church of Scientology

Just tell them you’ll buy a book and continue making out.

In a Cemetery

It’s the perfect place to make out with a statue of the Virgin Mary.

At the Beach

If anyone asks what you’re up to, just tell them you’re a lifeguard doing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. You’ll be a hero!

On the Bus During Winter

If you and that special someone really want to share a cold, kiss for any amount of time on the public bus during the holiday season.

Categories: culture, Satire