Ruth Bader Ginsburg Joins Professional Hockey Team

Ginsburg Playing with the Hershey Bears Hockey Team

WASHINGTON, DC – Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has scored a new gig as the newest left wing of the Hershey Bears Hockey Team.

“I’ve always had a passion for ice skating, and this really gives me the opportunity to blow off some steam between cases,” Ginsburg told BeetPress after a winning match against the Utica Comets on March 1st. “Truth be told, I’m having the time of my life.”

Ginsburg, who at 85 is the oldest justice currently sitting on the supreme court, is seen my many as a champion of women’s rights, presenting a strong voice in favor of gender equality, the rights of workers, and the separation of church and state. With the appointments by President Trump of conservative justices Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh, Ginsburg is seen as maintaining the balance of power within the court.

The trailblazing justice made history by becoming the first female team member of the Hershey Bears, an achievement she feels bests her appointment in 1993 as the second female member of the High Court. “The support from the team has been exceptional,” the octogenarian was quoted as saying, “they haven’t held back, they let me get in there and really make an impact.” Fans have been vocal in their support as well, often chanting R-B-G when Ginsburg takes the ice.

Head coach Spencer Carbery has so far been pleased with Ginsburg’s performance. “I was a little skeptical at first, to be honest,” Carbery said. “I mean, she’s a woman, but she explained that she didn’t spend her entire career fighting for equality and justice to be denied a position on a hockey team. I did have concerns about her age as well. I mean, she’s 85, but she’s proven her worth in the barn. Plus she’s on the Supreme Court, so I guess that has some weight.”

Although she’s quickly proving her worth on the ice, Ginsburg’s tenure with the Hershey Bears has not been without incident. She was penalized in January for roughing and suffered three cracked ribs during a fight with Nic Aube-Kubel, forward of the Lehigh Valley Phantoms during a match on December 7th.

Despite these setbacks, Ginsburg remains undeterred, as evidenced by praise from fellow team members. Right wing Riley Barber told BeetPress “I had my doubts about RBG, but that woman’s a boss. Three broken ribs and two teeth knocked out and she’s back two weeks later like nothing happened.”

Conservative political commentator and talk show host Sean Hannity offered rare support for Justice Ginsburg, saying “Frankly I’m thrilled that Mrs. Ginsburg has made this decision. I think she’s going to do some real damage out there on the ice.”

Others have been more skeptical about Ginsburg’s decision to play hockey, including liberal political commentator James Carville. “I don’t know what possessed an 85 year old lady to take part in one of the most dangerous sports possible,” stated Carville. “The last two years of Trump has been a disaster and she’s literally the only one holding the country together. I hope she’s having fun at least.”

Categories: Politics, Satire

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