Pelosi Recommends Ice Cream to Fill Baby Formula Gap
WASHINGTON, DC – House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has suggested that mothers unable to purchase baby formula consider feeding their infants ice cream as a temporary measure until the United States supply of […]
Republicans Propose “Plan C” to Force Fetuses into Unpregnant Women
WASHINGTON, DC – According to a leaked memo, Republican lawmakers are planning to introduce legislation that will mandate women of reproductive age who have not had a child within the past five […]
Desperate Liberals Beg Susan Sarandon for Abortion Rights
LOS ANGELES, CA – Upon learning through leaked documents that the Supreme Court intends to overturn the landmark abortion-rights case Roe v Wade, desperate liberals are pleading with actress Susan Sarandon to […]
Liberals Flock to Truth Social After Elon Musk Twitter Takeover
CALIFORNIA – Fulfilling a pledge to leave the social media platform if purchased by billionaire Elon Musk, liberal Twitter users are flocking to alternative social media platforms including Truth Social. Musk’s purchase […]
C-SPAN Quietly Drops C+PLUS Streaming Service
WASHINGTON, DC – In light of the failure of CNN+ to gain traction in the streaming news and information sector, C-SPAN has announced they they are abandoning plans for their C+PLUS streaming […]
Biden Forgives Student Debt for Ukrainian College Graduates
WASHINGTON, DC – President Biden announced Thursday that he is signing an executive order forgiving up to $400 billion in student loan debt for Ukrainian college graduates long burdened under crippling financial […]
Queen Elizabeth II Celebrates 96th Birthday with Bowl of Special K and a BM
NORFOLK, ENGLAND – England’s Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her 96th Birthday, an event which also marks her 70th years on the throne, with a small bowl of Special K and a bowel […]
Facebook Introduces “Pimp My Profile” Feature to Attract MySpace Users
MENLO PARK, CA – In an effort to improve its social media experience and bolster its waning user base, Facebook will introduce a series of new features to compete against rival MySpace. […]
Ukraine Considers Name Change to Kuwait in Hopes of Military Aid
KYIV, UKRAINE – Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelenskyy announced Friday that he is considering changing his country’s name to Kuwait in hopes that a coalition of forces led by the United States and […]
Kyle Rittenhouse In Hot Water After Shooting Three Ukrainian Freedom Fighters
KYIV, UKRAINE – Kyle Rittenhouse is under fire for reportedly shooting three Ukrainian freedom fighters while defending a Kyiv car dealership against Russian invaders. News of the shooting comes just days after […]
