Britney Spears Invests Entire Fortune in Dogecoin
LOS ANGELES, CA – Hours after the dissolution of the conservatorship held by her father, Britney Spears has reportedly invested her entire $59 million fortune in the cryptocurrency Dogecoin. Her father, Jamie […]
Democrats’ Dream Ticket is Kamala Harris and Pete Buttigieg
WASHINGTON, DC – It’s less than a year into Joe Biden’s first term and democrats are already buzzing about who will be his successor should he not seek a second term. For […]
AOC Ripped for Attending Met Gala in Tan Suit
NEW YORK, NY – Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is facing heat for showing up to the exclusive Met Gala wearing former President Obama’s tan suit. “I thought it would be kind of a […]
Al-Qaeda to Commemorate 9/11 by Flying Airliner into World Trade Center
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – According to sources familiar with the matter, Al-Qaeda will commemorate the 20th anniversary of the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks on the United States by flying a US-based jetliner […]
Hillary Clinton Sets Up Back-Alley Abortion Clinic in Houston
HOUSTON, TX – Former presidential candidate and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has reportedly set up a clandestine abortion clinic in Houston after the Supreme Court denied requests to stop Texas’s six-week […]
US Sets Record of Six Hours Without War
WASHINGTON, DC – Just hours after the end of the war in Afghanistan, the United States has set a new peacetime record marking the longest period of time the nation has gone […]
Elon Musk unveils robot that can satisfy your wife
PALO ALTO, CA – Tesla CEO Elon Musk has unveiled plans for a robot that can sexually satisfy your wife. According to Musk, Tesla will branch out from building electric, self-driving cars […]
Ted Cruz receives face transplant
HOUSTON, TX – Texas Senator Ted Cruz has undergone a successful face transplant procedure at Houston Methodist Hospital, according to sources close to the republican lawmaker. “It was getting to the point […]
Anthony Weiner announces NY governor bid in wake of Cuomo resignation
ALBANY, NY – In the wake of Anthony Cuomo’s resignation amid allegations of sexual misconduct, former New York congressman Anthony Weiner announced Wednesday that he will seek the gubernatorial seat vacated by […]
Buttigieg announces $160B plan to paint American streets with pride rainbows
WASHINGTON, DC – Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has announced a $160 billion plan, part of the larger $1 trillion infrastructure bill, to paint every street in America with rainbows. “I can’t think […]
